Getting back into the dating game after an absence is difficult for anyone. If you’ve become a parent in the meantime, the idea of jumping back out there can feel pretty terrifying. Dating as a single parent is a uniquely different experience from the dating life that you enjoyed before you had a child. Most likely your priorities about who you date and how you date have considerably shifted now that you have a little one’s needs to consider as well as your own. The three biggest questions for single parents are:
Am I ready?
How do I incorporate my child into my dating life? and
How do I meet people who either have children of their own or don’t mind dating someone with children?
As a single parent, the first thing you need to do before you start dating is to make sure that you’re truly over your child’s other parent. If there’s any chance that you haven’t fully moved on from that relationship, remember that you’re not doing anyone a favor (especially not yourself) by putting yourself out there before you’re ready. Everyone will suffer if you get involved with someone new while your heart or your mind is on your ex. During the difficult healing process, don’t try to fill the void with a new love. Instead, focus your attention on your child and funnel your energy into self-improvement and your support system of family and friends.
Many single parents struggle with whether they should tell their dates about their children, or when their new partner and their child should meet. When you start to date someone you should, of course, be honest about your life. Being a parent is not your entire identity, but it’s a very important aspect of who you are.
Misrepresenting yourself in an attempt to avoid spooking a potential date is a wasted effort because your date will have to find out sooner or later. It’s better for you and your future partner if you reveal your parenthood early so you both know if you’re wasting time. Both you and your child deserve someone who not only knows what they’re getting into, but is excited to share their time with you and your child.
The question of how soon you should introduce your child to your new love interest can only be answered by you. Waiting until you feel that things are serious is common advice, because children can form attachments quickly, but from there you’ll need to weigh if both your partner and child will be comfortable expanding their lives to accommodate another person.
Good news: If you’re a single parent who feels ready to date but you have no idea where to start, there’s an abundance of dating websites specifically for people with kids or people who don’t mind dating someone with kids. These sites are dedicated to helping you avoid wasting time on someone who doesn’t like children. If, for whatever reason, online dating isn’t your thing, you’re going to have to take advantage of the connections you can make at school, daycare, the park or even the library. Getting your children involved in extracurricular activities is not only beneficial for them, but it might introduce you to the person who will complete your family!
